No Trousers

 Christmas Day in a hospital is a hybrid beast. Efforts are made to produce a festive menu and the hospital hands out gift bags to the patients. I spent a fair bit of time on FaceTime sharing in my family’s Christmas but at least two thirds of the day was spent hitched to a drip. I also found time to finish binging a korean drama. It was 10.30 when I fell to sleep but regardless of my own intentions I knew I would be woken fairly regularly to have my blood pressure taken. It was 11.30 when I was woken first but it wasn’t a nurse. A rather well dressed lady was at the foot of my bed with what looked like a gift bag in her hand. “Hi there! I’m Jane from the church chaplaincy, we are distributing gifts to the patients on behalf of the chaplaincy”. “It’s a bit late isn’t it?” “I know, they were running behind and I volunteered to pop in and do an hour or so” I thanked her and then she asked if there was anything else I needed. The role of the chaplaincy went beyond handing out gift bag...

I’ve been back at At the hospital for about four days now. So far we’ve had one death, one attempted escape and a fight. Not sure of the details of the latter but it was dominated by a very aggressive woman stating she wasn’t stupid, wouldn't be patronised and then claimed to have been assaulted. The man who died had lain in the bed next to me, hadn’t been eating and was refusing fluids. He had a jaundiced complexion and his stomach was swollen to an unnatural size. I admit that most distressing to myself was the smell; it was a sweet sickly putrescence and I was massively relieved when he was moved to a side room. When the crash team descended in the middle of the night it came as no surprise who they were looking to save. I know it might seem tasteless, my speaking of this, but a very real consequence of being treated for this disease is being so close to those who fail to survive it.  The aspiring escapee was in the bed opposite. He was on his third course and the chemo had wrea...

I had a week to get fit for the second round of chemo whilst at home. A week to use diet and exercise to get me in the right place. I did think I’d start slowly with the exercise thing but I had no idea how far I had to go. When I arrived home it was a massive relief and as I sat down for a meal, my second of the evening, I’d had a meal at the hospital before they released me, I was determined to follow through on a fitness regime. Then I tried to climb the stairs. Ok! This wasn’t going to be easy. Maybe I needed to rethink my strategy here. If I can’t climb stairs then it’s going to take a lot to get me where I need to be. First night I slept nine hours through  and it was brilliant. I woke at 7.30 to a busy household with my sons: Alex and Laurence and my wife, Christine getting ready for the day ahead. I wasn’t used to this as I was previously first up but now the tables had turned and everyone was looking after me . Breakfast of Korean rice porridge was made and already I felt ...

 “Never tell me the odds” Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back After a fairly uneventful week, hence no blog, it was planned that I should be able to leave the hospital for a short period at home before beginning the second trench of chemo. There will be four in total and,  possibly at some time early next year, a bone marrow stem transfer, depending on my suitability. I had a letter from the QE hospital asking me to attend a preliminary meeting about the stem cell option and that was for Tuesday. Taking advantage New Cross decided that Tuesday would be the day I was also discharged. I expressed my concern that trying to do so much on the same day was a recipe for disaster but was assured that this would not be an issue. First sign that the day might not go as planned was when I put my jeans on and they immediately sought refuge around my ankles. I needed a belt. I’ve lost about 2.5 stone so I’m pretty diminished. Of course a few pounds of that could be accounted for by my hair w...

 You are probably wondering why I haven’t blogged for a while. Well! It’s because absolutely nothing has happened. My temperature is steady, I’m walking now, I no longer need oxygen. Apparently doctors waiting for my immune system to recover and then I will go home for a week before returning to hospital for the second trench of chemo. I’m trying desperately to think of something new or different that’s happened to spice up the narrative but nope, diddley squat, nada. I have dropped over two stone and now weigh under 11 stone. It doesn’t suit because the weight has come of my chest and my head. I look like a wizened cobbler elf and it’s not a look I recommend. The only way I’m going to build up again is lots of protein and that means chicken and chicken and chicken and potato salad. A nurse announced to me today that she was going to inject me in the stomach. “No bloody chance” I replied “It’s a tiny needle” she responded brandishing her weapon of choice. “Whoa! Wait a minute. Aren...